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[29 Jul 2004|12:41am]
[ mood | i feel like throwing up ]

I have a job where i work 40 hours a week, and i'm going to school 4 times a week. I've been doing pretty fucking good lately. But the better my life gets the worst i feel i'm feeling. Something is missing, something i don't think i'll ever have again, it scares me. I'm missing you. If it's any consolation, for the most part i'm not happy.

Where the hell is Amanda. Question.
the bass skills shock and amaze.
only my little sister.
there's never enough time.

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[07 May 2004|02:50pm]
[ mood | shit. i feel like shit ]

i'm prolly the worst person i know, but i also feel i'm the best person i know. I don't want your opinion. I haven't cried in a while. I want to crawl into a dark hole, but not die, more like just go away, and have time pass over fast, in waves. I say this because i think with time things will get better, or rather that is what should happen. But i'm worried that no matter how much time passes shit won't get better. people, i'm really just a fuck up who happens to be a swell person. Is that cockiness? as always, as ever, I don't believe in "deserve"s. Perhaps that's only because i might be the person deserving.

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Me Gusta [28 Apr 2004|08:31pm]
"Every passing hour brings the Solar System forty-three thousand miles closer to Globular Cluster M13 in Hercules--and still there are some misfits who insist that there is no such thing as progress."

-Ransom K. Ferm
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[24 Apr 2004|12:14pm]
[ mood | Wack!. . .just regular type ]

"Dude, It's like 1997 and you're the king."

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[21 Apr 2004|01:39am]
[ mood | hungry ]

This just in: Niggas don't know

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[19 Apr 2004|12:47am]
sober is the new high
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I think i'm back [13 Apr 2004|01:01am]
And then it hits you, you will never touch your body against hers, ever again. Ever again.

I lost my appetite.
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My College Essay by Jose y Danielle respectively [09 Feb 2004|06:29pm]
As you already know I am Jose, a Hispanic gentleman from Jackson Heights. What you don’t know is who I am. I wouldn’t even know where to begin to try and have you grasp even a little bit of my personality. The best I can do is to tell you about my interests and hopefully they will help you see the kind of person I am.
Quite obviously one of my main interests is art, meaning I love music, paintings, museums, galleries, drawing, films, etc. Any display of a person’s artistic creation fills me with a passion I feel for nothing else. That’s how I know I want to be a part of it for the rest of my life. The one problem I have with art though, is I don’t feel I have the experience and training that would be necessary for me to excel in the field. That’s where you come in (wink wink).
The next interest of mine has to be a tie between my girlfriend and video games. I love fucking and playing and sometimes I don’t know which to choose.
My final interest is eating. I eat and eat and eat and I don’t get fat! You are probably so jealous of me!
Thank you my name is Jose the Garcia once again.
Accept me.
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4 am almost, conan the barbarian [18 Sep 2003|03:58am]
i am comfortable saying i will be a baller for life
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Love, it's a terrible thing to waste [03 Sep 2003|01:34am]
[ mood | alright ]

today was a crazy day
i like talking, i love listening

a song lyric

i'm unconsoled, i'm lonely, i'm so much better then i used to be
the weakerthans

today was a pretty bland day, i went to hunter i like it there, i slept for a few hours it's very comfortable

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"it's going to be a killer" - Jose the Garcia [01 Sep 2003|01:06am]
[ mood | sick ]

my stomach hurts so much

jose hurts so much
it hurts to not know
with a match that's mean
and some gasoline
you won't see me anymore

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You can wait all night I'll never stop complaining, as I look into those eyes I can't behave [22 Aug 2003|04:21am]
[ mood | oh the joy ]

What the fuck. Answer me that.

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I love you Danielle Rosa [18 Aug 2003|01:18am]
[ mood | honestly, words cannot ]

I typed your name

i had a bit of an idea about what my entry would be. a bit of an outline, sentences, but christ now i don't even know how to fucntion, i'm so happy it makes me sad, but not sad. but here are the sentences and thoughts that were and are and then some that became.

listen. my house smells like peaches, my mom is makeing something with them, she's boiling a big pot of peaches downstairs, prolly went picking. my whole house

I pulled the bell of the bus two stops earlier then i was supposed to. but i got off anyway. god forbid someone saw me pull the chord and think of me wierd. i'm fucking crazy man. so i walked two blocks that i wasn't supposed to.

next up i was going to type that i was going to type that i'm not going to get into what happened at my movie theater but maybe will recap later, but i won't, i'll forget and shit who cares. but yeah i don't like some people sometimes. given, a duh

alright now sunday morning before going to bed, she cried and held me and i fealt so good, you should've killed me then i would have died a happy man. she spoke words and sentences i've only dreamed of, that i've never heard or fealt before. it was so beautiful. i'm happy, not fucking jumping off the walls, i'm chilling but i'm fucking happy. lord. it's going to be a killer.

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[14 Aug 2003|01:47am]
[ mood | stuffed up the wazoo ]

i'm sick, sick, it's fuckin summer and i'm sick how does that happen, or it could be allergies i don't even know, today was a good day, i won seven dollars in poker, that is all man, my head feels heavy, my heart feels alright, my nose is a fucking mess, i miss people

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i played basketball tonight [11 Aug 2003|12:03am]
[ mood | down ]

she said alright. no problem

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and you know what i hate [07 Aug 2003|07:30am]
[ mood | tired ]

do you not hate it when you are drinking soemthing in a nice cup that's a little heavy, or heavier then some so you don't know if it's empty. and you're doing something so you forget that you finished the juice you had inside it and take a sip and damn no juice, and you were wanting the juice, to enter your mouth, to fucking quench. but no. what a fucking dissapointment

that was last night, that was just now.


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[06 Aug 2003|12:52am]
everyone should do shrooms, there is no more beer in my bottle, so i will type more later, but yes if you care the begining of this week has been amazing.
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never that [03 Aug 2003|03:45am]
[ mood | still ]

and because this needed it's own entry cause that's how my head works

i was laying down with her
her leg on my waist
her knee was hurting my fucking stomach
i'm talking uncomfy
for a good ten minutes
i did not say a word
because she was comfortable
i love this fucking girl

she would not do the same for me, that doesn't mean shit.
i'm a different kinda cat.


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pretty eventful day [03 Aug 2003|03:34am]
[ mood | I'm fucking blipped ]

i wans't gonna type, but now i will, first off it's killing me that there are no speakers here right now so no music, i can't live without the music

i did not go to bed till 5 in the morning, i was watching the ali frazier documentary. sun came up it was nice, amanda called me at about 12 maybe 1, we went to the salvation army where i used my skills and found some nice stuff for her, i put on a shirt that made me look french, it was not bought. i then ate four hot dogs, 3 with ketchup and one was ketchup and mustard. and amanda had a scicilian, supposed to be the best sicilian pizza in new york. i then went to the movie theater i will work at, yes baby i have a job, and watched video upon video upon video, for 3 hours. the best was the one titled "Give 'em the Pickle" so i got the job and i call in on thursday for my schedule. i then ran to danielle's house, on the way i had a moment with a jewish man. i folded a bunch of clothes at her house drank two glasses of water, talked and watched adaptation, which was so good for so long and then it just went bad, then alright ,so all in all an okay movie. waited for the bus for about a half hour because of damn sunday service, here in jackson heights i got a cup of coffee and an arepa con queso, they were out of bunuelos, fucking out! i walked home and that is all.

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[21 Jul 2003|09:49am]
[ mood | cansado ]

I have been meaning to type in that at one point in my life, some time ago for about a month or so, I was the happiest I'd ever been and that it was now gone and all that stuff. well I never got around to it so I do it now. done.

This weekend was good to me, it made me the happiest i've been. maybe even happier then the month of joy I had in that past, but the weekend is now over.
I still have memories of the weekend that has just past and it's fresh and I am happy, but then I sit down here at Eugene Kim's computer and realize that it was only a weekend and that things are things and things like to stay as they are.
I'm off to the museum today.
So long to this cold cold part of the world

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